Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

Who’s on First (Today’s Version)

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011
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You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on…

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

 
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge..

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’…………..

A wonderful tribute to President Hinckley

Thursday, January 31st, 2008
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One of my fraternity brothers sent this clip to me.  As I watched it, I thought Glen Beck on CNN expressed beautifully his feelings towards President Hinckley on national TV.  I express the same sentiments that Glen has as well.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.    

The Twelve Days of Christmas is up by 3.1%

Monday, November 26th, 2007
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A large part of what I do for a living is pick investments for my clients, which requires me to watch the markets.  You might find it interesting that the cost to do the Twelve days of Christmas has gone up by 3.1% from 2006.  On a series note, this is a true reflection of a rise in inflation and market analysis series look at these figures to get a feel of what the economy is doing.  What I think is outrageous is the cost of “Calling Birds” has gone up 25% this year.  It costs more to get Calling Birds then it does Five Gold Rings.  I don’t know about you, but we should picket the bird store and force them to lower their prices.  =0  (I’m kidding if you didn’t detect the sarcasm in the last paragraph.) PNC Christmas Price Index – 2007Traditional

  2006 2007 % Change2007/06
One Partridge in a Pear Tree $144.99 $164.99 13.8%
Partridge $15.00 $15.00 0.0%
Pear Tree $129.99 $149.99 15.4%
Two Turtle Doves $40.00 $40.00 0.0%
Three French Hen $45.00 $45.00 0.0%
Four Calling Birds $479.96 $599.96 25.0%
Five Gold Rings $325.00 $395.00 21.5%
Six Geese-a-Laying $300.00 $360.00 20.0%
Seven Swans-a-Swimming $4,200.00 $4,200.00 0.0%
Eight Maids-a-Milking $41.20 $46.80 13.6%
Nine Ladies Dancing $4,759.19 $4,759.19 0.0%
10 Lords-a-Leaping $4,160.25 $4,285.06 3.0%
11 Pipers Piping $2,124.00 $2,213.40 4.2%
12 Drummers Drumming $2,301.00 $2,397.85 4.2%
 
Total Christmas Price Index $18,920.59 $19,507.25 3.1%
 
True cost of Christmas in song $75,122.03 $78,100.10 4.0%
 
“Core” index, excluding swans $14,720.59 $15,307.25 4.0%

 

The Cookie Thief

Sunday, November 18th, 2007
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We heard this really good poem at church today.  I thought it was good enough to share with you. 

———————
The Cookie Thief
by Valerie Cox
A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops.
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”
With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude,
Why he didn’t even show any gratitude!
She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.
She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.
If mine are here, she moaned in despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share.
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.
How many times in our lives,
have we absolutely known
that something was a certain way,
only to discover later that
what we believed to be true … was not?
———————

The speaker brought up a real good point.  She emphasized how this woman was so bothered and offended that this man would steal her cookies, when the reality was that she was stealing his.  How did he respond?  Instead of getting upset and bothered as she was towards him, he split the cookie and shared it with her.  What an example of how to act.

Support our Troops

Saturday, November 17th, 2007
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I personally do not know anyone at present who is serving overseas in the military, yet I have a deep respect for what they are doing for liberty and for our country.  At times I think, “how I could support them more?”  My brother-in-law let me know about this website the other day.  It is done by Xerox and I think it is one of the coolest things that someone can do for a soldier.  It is better then doing nothing.You can go to: http://www.letssaythanks.com and write a personal message or select one of the many pre-populated messages.  Xerox will print the card and send it to a soldier in Iraq for free.   I recommend customizing a message.The other cool thing is it only took a second for me to send it and they didn’t require a ton of personal information.  In essence, Xerox isn’t doing this to collect consumer information, they are honestly attempting to support our troops.


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